How Draco Got His Groove Back
by Atlanta Sunshine
Summary: Draco Malfoy! How dare you scare me like that, with that that....thing on! She stamped her foot in rage. I didn't mean to scare you! I'm trying this new look. I'm going to see if I like it. He defended.[NonEpilougeCompatible][A Dramione oneshot]


**_How Draco Got His Groove Back_**

By- ATL Sunshine

Author's Note- Of course, not mine. Just something I came up with at the last moment.

It seems sucky to me, but some of the readers might like it. Read and Review por favor!

* * *

Draco had always wondered about change. Many things experience it. Kids, cars, fashion, money. Yet, the one thing that did not change was...well him. He sat in front of the vanity mirror in his and his lovely wife's massive bedroom, in their gorgeous Manor, bored to tears. Of course he had to be the only one out of the family that didn't like Chinese food. Hermione, and the kids went to eat Chinese food every Thursday night, while he sulked at home looking for something time consuming to do. He examined the wide assortments of perfume, make-up and jewelry adorning the crystal glass table. Hermione went through as many as four transitions in one week. Draco looked at himself sullenly. He noticed his hair fell in all of the same places as it did ten years ago. The same platinum blonde hair and silver eyes. The same pale skin. The same black clothes. The same toned chest, which wasn't exactly a complaint, especially if Hermione had anything to say about it. After, all he did live to keep his body up to it's full potential, and his sexiness at an alarming high.

But, he couldn't get why he wanted so badly to change. Maybe not In a physical way, but emotionally? No, he was too emotionally worn out from dealing with Hermione's hormones over the years, screaming kids and well, age. He certainly did feel as if he was the oldest man on earth. Yet, he was a mere twenty-eight. Draco stood up and sighed. He walked over to the room's floor to ceiling opal framed mirror. He turned to his left, then his right, his back, then front again. He continued doing this until he thought he had narrowed down at least one specific place he wanted to change. His face. Now, nothing drastic. Nothing like a nose job or eye lift. He didn't need them yet.

He looked at the clock on the wall. Six thirty-eight o'clock. The clan wouldn't be home for another two hours. He stared himself down in the mirror. He tried to start with something small. So, he decided that he would do a small hair spell. He mumbled the words and out of nowhere popped up a green spiked Mohawk. Draco, bug-eyed, flicked his hand up and down the spikes. Tickling his hand in the process. " Wow, wonder what Mione would think when she saw me like this! Some raunchy shags we'd have." He said to himself. " Hmm...I should complete the outfit." He mumbled another spell, only this time, a clothing charm...

Almost twenty minutes later, Draco had transitioned into at least thirty outfits. He was now dressed as a hooker with pretty little red heels and fishnet stockings, he was playing air guitar in a tutu while dancing to Guns 'N Roses' "Welcome To The Jungle".

He sang the lyrics, while strutting like on the catwalk. His hair was now hot pink and long rocker looking. All that could be heard from the huge lavish mansion was, " _Welcome to the jungle, we got the fun and games...da da da da da da do, do do do do do deee_."...

After that was over, Draco went back to his normal look and thought. He looked at his face and imagined something that would great there. He paced back and forth, back and forth. Continuing until he got a spark in his eye that could only be rivaled by that of Dumbledore. Where the idea had originally come from...

"Sadie, pick up your shoes please and Nola, don't leave this fortune cookie on the floor!" Hermione yelled after the two giggling girls heading up the stairs to play with their dolls.

Hermione knew they hadn't listened to her. She looked over towards the door, groaned and walked over to where the mess was, starting to clean it up. "Aaaaggghhh" Hermione ran to the other side of the kitchen and grabbed a knife. She didn't even notice it, but an old man had been standing right behind her. " Who the...Draco?" She asked, as realization set in. Her husband was staring at her like a deer caught in the headlights. He had no idea what was going on.

"Wha-" But, she was interrupted by two horrified screams as their little girls ran over and started hitting Draco like a punching bag. "Stop! Stop! It's me! It's Daddy!" He screamed as small arms lunged at his stomach and...groin.

"Aaagghhh!" He yelled. He scrambled to get up and ran away behind Hermione.

"Enough!" She yelled. Nola and Sadie jumped up from the ground immediately.

"Girls, this is Daddy, now what he has done to himself is far beyond me, but you both need to apologize to him for hitting him like you did." Hermione stared at Draco while she awaited the apologies from her daughters.

"Sorry, Daddy. We didn't know it was you." Sadie said.

"Yeah, sorry. But, you look alot older." Nola.

Draco, still grabbing his sensitive spot and breathing through gritted teeth, said "It's okay, you didn't know."

Hermione, impressed with her girls, said "Alright, well I think it is way past two little girls' bedtime. Head upstairs and get ready for bed, i'll be up in a minute to tuck you both in."

"Okay, mummy. Nite mummy, Nite Daddy." They said in unison. "Nite girls. Oh and wait..." The little curly silver-haired look-alikes stopped at the foot of the stairs to hear what their Daddy had to say. "...Never, ever hit anyone in that spot ever again." Their faces turned to a look of guilt, but smiled sheepishly, turned and continued up the stairs.

When they were out of site and they heard the water turn on, Hermione got straight to the point. "Draco Malfoy! How dare you scare me like that, with that- that-...thing on!" She stamped her foot in rage.

"I didn't mean to scare you! I'm trying this new look. I'm going to see if I like it." He defended. He walked into their living room with Hermione hot on his heels.

"New look? This is your new look?" She asked incredulously. She eyed him. She couldn't even see part of his face. It was cover with a massive platinum blonde...beard.

Draco unconsciously started rubbing his new accessories. "What? You don't like it?" He asked. She looked at him like he had grown two heads.

"Not like it? I hate it! It's disgusting! You remind me of Headmaster Dumbledore." She yelled as she walked up the winding staircase and into their bedroom, where she started to undress.

"Well, that's the look I was going for." He said as he shut the door and watched. She looked at him and made a face. "Eww, just you looking at me with that thing on creeps me out!" She yelled.

"I'm your husband! I can't look that different!" Draco.

She walked over to her vanity and looked for her eye make-up remover. "It's just wrong Drac-...Did you put on some of my make-up?" She turned around and eyed him suspiciously.

He swayed from side to side. "I just wanted to see what I looked like." Hermione instantly dropped the packet of blush. "Draco! What has gotten into you!?"

"I'm just tired of looking the same, Mione. I at least thought of all people you would support me in this!" He grabbed a brush and started to brush his platinum mane.

Hermione sat on the bed next to Draco and eyed him. He was sincerely hurt. How, she had no idea. It was just some stupid beard. She was one of the women that did not like facial hair...at all. But, if he wanted to do something drastic and well crazy like this, then she ought to let him learn from his mistakes. Draco struck her as the kind of guy who never wanted to grow old, yet with this...thing on his face, he wasn't going to be looking any younger.

"Drake, baby. I support you in everything. It's just I thought you were more of the person to change their hair color or their clothes. You know."

He looked up at her. "Well, I did try on some of your tops-"

"-Okay!" She yelled and walked down the hall, obviously to tuck the girls into bed.

Draco got up and walked over to the mirror for about the twentieth time that day, and stared at himself. He had to admit it, he was hot. What was Hermione seeing?...

The next day, Draco decided to go into town to go shopping for some new clothes. He had looked up this new robes shop in Diagon Alley and decided to take a look. Everyone knew it was him, but they were shocked, flabbergasted, stunned. Whatever word you could put for it. He walked as if he were some Roman God, descending onto earth with his glowing confidence that showed that his presence was nothing short of an honor. It's not everyday that you see Draco Malfoy with a beard.

Hermione had stayed at home that day. Calling her Mum about something only as important as the day they got married or named their daughters. Funny day that one. She had searched hours on-line to find a star naming site, only so that she and Draco would have proof that there were stars out there named Nola and Sadie. Be it that they _had_ to name their kids afters stars. At least they didn't name them Angelina and Jennifer.

"Mum, he has a beard now! A beard! What has the world come to?" She paced around the room, arguing about the pros and cons of having one of these so called 'Beards'. "I don't know, but I think it's a phase. He should grow out of it. He's twenty-eight! I have a sexy husband. I shouldn't be dealing with all of this old stuff."

Just then Hermione heard the bell ding in time for dinner. "Okay, Mum. Got to go. I'll call you soon. Love you, Bye."

Nola and Sadie sat down at the table and continued playing with their dolls. "Where's Daddy?" Sadie asked.

"I don't know, Sweetie. He should be home soon." She sat the food on the table. In less the one minute, Draco was through the door.

"Hello family!" He yelled as he sat down and put his shopping bags down beside the chair. "Hey Daddy!" Yelled the six year-old and the three year-old in unison.

A pleasant, "Hello." was all Hermione replied.

"Well I had a wonderful day, today. I love looking different! Nobody knows who I am, yet everybody notices me." He smiled.

"Yay" Was all the girls could manage through shoveling bites of mashed potatoes.

Hermione gave an annoyed glare...

* * *

The Next Day

* * *

Hermione walked into the restaurant with Draco on her arm, trying not to be noticed by anyone. She glanced out of her left eye and saw that the waiter was leading them to an open table in the middle of the room. _'Nooo!...' _She thought. "Draco, could you please ask him if he could put us at a booth or corner table...anywhere far away." He looked at her oddly for a second. "From the middle!" She corrected.

"Why do you want to be away from the middle? In the middle, everybody will see us." He replied happily. _'That's exactly what I want to avoid...'_ She thought.

Suddenly, Hermione felt something wrap around her shoe, and she stumbled a little bit. She looked down to see Draco's beard...wrapped around her foot?

_"'What the hell?...Oh great! Only this kind of shit happens to me!...'_

They were still walking, she knew something bad could become of this. She nudged him, "Draco, my foot is stuck."

He looked at her. When he turned his head, however, his beard became even more entangled in her shoe. "Draco, help me!"

He tried to pull his beard away so he could help her. But as soon as he did that, Hermione fell flat on her face. Legs up, nickers galore.

"Draco!" She yelled. She. Was. Mortified...

* * *

That Night

* * *

Hermione was still stricken with the fact that she could never show her face in public ever again. She pondered what life would be like without any of her date nights or any special nights going out to eat. It was still a surprise that Draco could get her to go, even if he did have about five feet of hair growing from his face. How the hell did it get that long in the first place?

She took off her make-up and washed her face. As she was about to lay down to go to bed. She felt bad for making Draco sleep on the couch for two nights in a row.

Then it finally struck her. Why hadn't she thought of this before?...

* * *

Draco was about to fall asleep when he heard the clacking of heels along their hardwood floor. Maybe it was just the cat clawing things down the hall. He thought back to when earlier that morning, the Cat had nothing better to claw then his beautiful mane of hair. That was painful.

Suddenly, he heard something. "Draco..."

He turned on the light. And there was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

His wife. White lingerie. Stiletto heels. Handcuffs. And lots of skin.

"Errr..." Was all he could manage. Hermione made her way over towards the couch.

"Draco. I know you don't mean to be mean to me, but you care more about that stupid piece of hair then you do me. Do you still love me?"

He was momentarily distracted by the sudden fall of her strap. She sat down on his lap, letting him get very close to her.

"Of course not," He said as he tried to keep his eyes upward. He fidgeted with his hands, trying to keep them in his lap. When Hermione had handcuffs, it was to be a most exciting, yet terrifying night. She didn't act the same when she had those things.

"Well then you wouldn't mind enjoying my company, if for an itty-bitty exchange." She whispered into his ear. Blowing into it and making him shiver. Ah, women. They always had the upper hand. In cleverness and sensuality.

"An exchange?" He was still torn between talking to her and taking her.

"Um hmm. I give you all of me..." She paused as she quickly kissed him. "...and you give me that dreaded beard." She continued as she kissed his ear.

_'Damn'_ He thought. That's a very enticing exchange. Maybe...

She started to suck his finger. _'That's it'_ He thought.

He threw her up on his shoulder and ran up the stairs. He threw her on the bed and started kissing her. "Uhn uhn uhn!" She yelled.

"That has got to go!" Pointing to the huge mass of frizzy blonde hairs.

Draco jumped up and performed the anti-charm.

He felt his skin and was surprised to find it smooth. Hermione grabbed him and started kissing him with such fury, that he would never change again. He didn't need to.

He was sexy. Had a sexy wife. Beautiful kids. The whole shebang.

Oh, yeah. Draco Malfoy still had it...

* * *

The End 


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